A Year

A week from tomorrow will mark a year since Zach and I had our divorce finalized.  This week, he and his fiance will get married & are going to be having a baby.  Shouldnt bother me right?  I mean, I ended up pregnant 4 months after he asked for a divorce.  I am living with Robert, but there is no ring on this finger.  Her and I are "friends" on fb.  It is kinda blah to be honest.  He seems so much more excited, enthusiastic and more happy with her having his baby then he ever was with me.  Rub my belly?  HA!  As if!  He always had better things to do.  After all, I was just pregnant.  No complaining allowed early on because I wasnt "that pregnant".  Dont get me wrong, he was supportive, and caring.  But I dont ever remember him saying me being pregnant was sexy or that he loved my belly.  Except with Eden.  He talked to her.  He never let himself get excited it seemed.  Always cautiously optimistic.  This time he seems so different.  I am terrified that he and her will treat the girls differently because of the baby.  Maybe I am simply being paranoid. 

But still remains the fact...they are getting married the same week we were divorced.  Kinda a slap to the face to burry the knife a little deeper.  Who knows.  Maybe Ill remarry with Robert someday.

Until then, I dont know.  For know Im in a cranky way, i need sleep.

My my my

Short and sweet, Im going to start blogging again.  I need a way to remember and vent, and writing hurts my friggin hands :(  so yep...it shall start

Changes Are In Store

Tomorrow my girls come home from their Spring Break vacation with their daddy and Tia. They went to Florida to visit Zach's family and have been gone 12 days. Such a long time it seems! Certainly the longest I've gone without seeing those little girls. I'm so excited to see them, scoop them up, snuggle, cuddle and shower them with love. I will be quite anxious to leave work at 6 tomorrow evening and go get them. They're changing every day! Toni told me this morning she lost another tooth! The second in less than 2 months. Where did my baby go? Oh that's right, she will be 6 in July, Eden will be 8 in October and Brooke will be 3 in November. And before all of this, we will be welcoming a baby boy into the mix. Timothy David Henderson is due May 20th, however we're fairly certain he will be on the early side of his due date. I've been dating Robert for about 4 months now. So here soon we'll have our son snuggled up in our arms with three big sisters to spoil him to pieces, and a cat, Zeus, to harrass him. A year ago I didn't see myself here where I am. But I'm here and I'm going to make the best of it anyway I can. I've got a great job, three gorgeous daughters who've gotten me through the worst days of my life, a son on the way, an apartment, a car, a cell phone, dental insurance, health insurance, and a 401K. And I've done it all entirely on my own. I've had some help along the way but any debt I owed to people is paid off as well. My house is clean, there's dinner on the table, food in the cabinets and fridge, clean clothes for the girls to wear. I've done it on my own. Everything I have, everything I've accumulated and that fills my house, I, ME, I have worked for, I have paid for. I haven't depended on anyone. Nina loaned me some money to pay my down payment for my car, but that I paid back entirely. I have so much to be proud of for myself and what I've done to get me where I am now. In a year? Who knows what else can happen and where I will be or what I will be doing. What I do know is I have the love of a great man, the love of three amazing daughters who mean the world to me, and a son growing close to my heart. All giving meaning and purpose to my life each day. So here's to life, love and happiness.

Live, Laugh, Love

well ive logged in finally after 2 years to my blogg. i will be posting and blogging more now too since my family is growing and i want to remember these times. enjoy and love to everyone.