10 Years

"It has been 10 years of life, love and happiness the I wouldn't have shared with another, Love Forever, Zachary"

Those are the words written on the card attatched to the rose and lily bouquet that was delivered to my door this morning. I can scarcly belive that Zach and I have spent 10 years of our lives together. And it all started in the living room of Amy's house in Kneeland for Emily's 15th surprise birthday party.

I was dancing in the living room, Emily, Jessie, Amy, Dayl, Jeff, Zach, Adrian, Amy's sister Sarah, Dayl's sister Cara, and other's I can't remember, we were all there. I walked outside with my girlfriends, there was Zach sitting on the grass with his friends. We walked over to them, Zach poked my belly and said "Ooo squishy" Ironic because I was a size 3 and itty bitty. But it got us talking later on that night. We passed eachother a little later back in the living room, he pauses and says "You know you shouldn't wear so much make up." Little ole me ran into the bathroom and washed my make up off right away. Dayl and I were sitting on the bar stools in Amy's dining room talking. Up walks Zach and Adrian (who would later be a groom's man in our wedding) they sit across from us on the dining room chair. We got to talking and Dayl and I talked them into giving us foot massages. I still have that picture somewhere of our feet sitting in their laps, Zach and Adrian giving their "pimp" looks, chins up in the air, smug looks on their faces.

That night, after the party was over, Emily's mom gave Zach and I a ride home. along with some other kids. Zach and I sat in the back seat talking. When we got to his house, he shook my hand and said "It was really nice talking to you". Next was my turn to get dropped off. Emily walked me to my door and when she gave me a hug, I asked "Do you have Zach's phone number" She laughed and said "He asked for your number too, I gave it to him" Can we say giddy??!!! The next afternoon, Zach called "I really missed talking to you Stephanie. Do you want to go see a movie with me?" Uh, Duh, I thought, "Okay" I said. He and his dad pulled up in a dodge intrepid, and we saw "Never Been Kissed" We ate at Burger King, and sat on the Gottschalks couches for 4 hours talking, until my mom, dad and uncle came practically running through looking frantically for us.

Our second date, May 1, 1999, Zach took me to Sweet River Grill and Bar. He sat across from me, took my hands, held them in his, and said "Stephanie, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" "I have to think about it, uh..yes!!!" The story went on from there.

Now here I sit, sitting at my computer, typing this story out while our 5 month old little girl lays sleeping in my lap and our 3 and 5 year old are sitting on the couch doing their pre school work books, wearing dress up clothes. We've shared the joys of being pregnant 6 times, and welcoming 3 of those blessings into our lives and hearts. We've mourned the loss of 3 Angel Babies that changed our lives so much in such a short period of time. The house is a mess, I have 5 loads, maybe 6 loads of laundry to fold and put away, another 10 that need to be washed and dried. The dishes need to be done, the floor needs to be swept. We both weight about 50 pounds more than we did when we got married. But none...NONE of it would either of us change, or manipulate, nothing would we have had happened differently. We grew up together, we started out as 15 year old teenagers, madly in puppy love, a love that blossomed from cute and silly, to a love so deep, so strong, a love to build the sweetest dreams on. Our dreams, they now rest in eachother's eyes, in the family we've created, in the promise of tomorrow, the miracle of today, and the memory of yesterday. Our dreams, they weren't what we had expected at 15 years old, oh no no no, they are so so much more amazing, so much more rewarding.

What will come in the next 10 years? More children, new homes, new schools? A deeper, more pure infatuation with one another? I can only pray and put my trust in God that the next 10 years will only lead to another 99 more.

I love you Zach, I love you so much! Thank you for our children, thank you for the life we've built together, thank you for all you are, and all you've helped me to become!

That Time Again

So...It's getting closer and closer to Zach deploying again...Yes he's leaving. Where to, when, for how long...You probably already know that I can't say. Not until it happens. Security reasons and all. But the point is that he is leaving. And I will be alone with three children under the age of 5...alone...Out numbered, playing mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt and uncle.

God grant me serenity. To accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...Might I add too...The patience to raise my children with faith, love and happiness, patience to deal with unending whining, sleepless teething nights, tantrums and tears, heart ache and fears. And the ability to remember every detail to share with our hero.

Yes this is the life we chose together, this is the price we pay to have financial security, a roof over our heads, food on our table, medical coverage we can count on...at least count on if we get online at exactly midnight to make the appointments, Which by the way, makes for a cranky day the next day, not just for me, but everyone else. Especially if the website is not working, then I have to call at EXACTLY 7AM to sit on the phone for 20 minutes, only to be told that, sorry maam there aren't anymore appointments for today, you can call tomorrow morning, or we can give you a referral.

Oh exscuse me, I digress. What was I saying, oh yes...This is the price we pay, as a family, as a husband and wife, to have the security of knowing that he won't loose his job and we won't be out on the streets. Yes, Yes, this is the price we pay, but you know what? It doesn't mean I have to like it, to enjoy it, and it certainly does NOT mean that I have to sit here for X amount of months, smiling like an idiot and telling people when they ask me "How are you holding up" "OH, I am just fine, we are all fine, the kids are fine, Zach is fine" Damn...So not the answer I'd like to give. You know what I want to say? "No I'm not holding up just FINE! I'm tired, stressed, worn out, I've been up all night with a fussy baby, my 5 year old crys for her daddy, my 3 year old asks for him non stop, I wait up all night for his phone calls, then he doesn't call and I worry more. I stay awake all night doing laundry and exercizing because I can't sleep without him near me. Am I doing fine? No I am not...But you know what else? I'm damned proud of the job he does, I'm proud of the man he is, I'm proud of the family we've created. I look forward to the phone calls, the emails, and most of all the reunion."

Zach will be leaving soon. I'm scared to death, I'm terrified. Can I take care of all three girls, alone, no help? Yes I have my friends here, Kate, Sam, you guys are amazing and I know I can count on you to be there for me...But this is my game to play. I can't have someone constantly there to bail me out. Can I go for the next few months without loosing my temper? Getting frustrated day in and day out? Can I sit here at home, going about my daily life, while he is there, so far away from me? From our family our home? Can I take our daughter to kindergarten on the first day of school and not cry? Can I go to church each Sunday and not feel him standing by me, with his arm around me? Passing the baby back and forth? Can I hear the phone ring and not feel my heart race with excitement only to be let down for the 3rd day in a row? YES I CAN!!! Oh it will be hard, it won't be fun..BUT I've done it twice and I can certainly do it again. This time will be different, that's for sure, but I can do it :) I've got a man that loves me, that does what he must to take care of us. The least I can do is take care of his family and keep the home fires burning for when he returns.

Easter, Family and Furr Babies

We all had a wonderful Easter this year. I went out and bought 250 plastic eggs, a bunch of candy and 10 dollars in quarters, Kate, Sam, and I stuffed all the eggs one night when all the little ones had gone to bed. It rained all day Easter, quite a bit, so our outdoor egg hunt was cancelled. Sam and Kate and the great idea of each of us taking a bag full of eggs and going to our houses and hiding the eggs in the front rooms. Since we all live like 2 houses away from eachother, a little rain didn't hurt us. The kids all had so much fun, and are still packing away the candy.

We have a big weekend this weekend! Grandma Nina, Grandpa Wayne, Abbie and Julie (our nieces) are flying in from Florida to visit for a week!!! We haven't seen Abbie and Julie since November 2007 when Julie was 4 weeks old! Today is a cleaning day as I have to get the girls' bedroom and playroom spotless...Their new bunkbeds are being delivered tomorrow between 11-1pm. It's about time we got Toni her own bed too. Since we moved here, they've been sleeping in a twin bed together. Then it's onto the rest of the house, clean the bathrooms, our bedroom, the nursery, then Zach is doing the yard and the basement...Which reminds me, I still have so much laundry to do.

Onto other news...The furr babies eyes (all but 1) have opened and boy are they cuties!! I have been weighing them and holding each one for a few minutes a day to get them used to me and as of this week I've started letting friends hold them. I want them to be well socialized so that they will be great family additions. We are keeping one, but we are letting daddy pick out the kitty we keep. Hercules picked us, I picked Tula, and now it's Daddy's turn. He's such a big softy. He'll be deploying soon and told me one night that we could pick a kitten to keep. He wants the girls to have something to do, as if the dog and 2 cats we have now aren't enough :) We all love animals so it's really not a big deal.

Furr Babies

Early this morning, 1am, Toni crawled in bed with me. At about 1:30am I woke up to see Tula laying on Toni's chest, which she normally only lays on me this way. I reached over and started petting her to get her to laydown. It was then that I noticed my hand was a little damp. I jump out of bed, tell Toni to scoot over, Tula lays down, I pull up her tail and sure enough, there's a bag of water protruding from her back side. I wake Zach up and have him help me herd Tula into the baby's room where I have all the stuff I need to help her with the labor and delivery if she needed me. She wonders around anxiously for about a half hour. To her box in the closet, under the crib, around the rocking chair, onto the rocking chair, down around me, purring and asking for reassurance from me. After about a half hour, she starts screaming YES screaming and crying, she walks to the nursery door and there she has her first baby <3 I had to grab it, she was so scared and I think shocked at what had happened. I pick up the baby, tear the sac away from it's face and rub it and wipe it's face off with a baby wash cloth. It starts mewing!! I take it my fluffy robe I've layed on the floor for Tula, it's her favorite and she sleeps on it all the time. Instincts take over and I sit back and watch. Tula starts to lick her new baby, stimulating it to cry and breath. About 10 minutes later, baby number two comes around. This one and the three after she decides to deliver under the crib. After she's chewed the cord (yes it's gross but that's what they do) I pick up the baby, grab a dry wash cloth and dry it some more, rubbing and keeping it warm until Tula makes her way out from under the crib. After the first two babies, there was a break of about 30-45 minutes, then the next two came. I put the babies in their box, Tula climbed in, rolled over, put her paws around her babies and started purring, feeding her new little ones. I put the box in the closet, closed the closet doors, leaving a gap about a foot wide to allow some light in. I put a bowl of milk, a bowl of water, some food and a fresh litter box in the closet. I checked on them throughout the night and have been checking on them every couple of hours today to make sure they are warm, eating and that Tula-Ru is doing well.

We have a white kitten with a little bit of grey, just a few spots on the head and a grey tail. Baby # 2 is white with a few black spots on the head and a black tail. Baby # 3 is black with a white splotch on the back and a white chest. Baby # 4 looks a lot like Tula, about half and half black and white. The girls have named them, however only one has a name attached to it :)

Baby # 3 the black with a little white is Figaro, THANK YOU SAM!! For the suggestion, it worked out perfect :)

The other names that Eden and Toni picked are : Sarah, Annalisa, and Bridie

I'm thinking that the white kittens will be Sarah and Annalisa and the other black kitten will be Bridie.

All in all, it was a tiring, long night, for both Tula and I. Zach let me sleep in until 11:30 this morning too :) Momma and babies are doing great and I will be posting pictures later on this week.

Snow Day

Friday and Saturday we had blizzard conditions here in Wichita, KS. Friday we got about 3 inches of sleet and ice and yesterday we got about 3 inches of snow, maybe more. The girls were super excited. Each time it's snowed it's been to dry to build a snow man. So the we got the girls bundled up and took them outside. Sam came over with Gabe and Sam and I took all three kids down the street to where there are some dirt hills. Eden and Gabe had a blast sliding down on the sleds. Then Sam...wonderful Sam...She convinced me to sled too. So I sat my butt down, pulled my legs up criss cross applesauce, she pushed me and before I knew it I was sliding down the hill laughing hard! Then she told me to lay on my belly on the sled, so we both lay down on our sleds, and then! Gabe climbs on Sam's back and lays down, Eden climbs on mine and away we went! Oh but my legs and butt were cold cold cold after! We walked home and drank hot chocolate. Later on in the afternoon after naps David came over for a couple of hours. We got everyone bundled up again and Zach took them all outside to build their very first snowman!!!! He was a few inches shorter than the kids, Eden got a carrot for the nose, her Hannah Montana hat for it's head. But...The snowman didn't last through the night. Zach and I got into a snow fight and the girls, running around in their nightgowns and snow boots, knocked him over. Zach walked over to fix him, to which I took the the liberty and opportunity while he was bent over to put a handful of snow down the back of his pants. Poor Zach was so caught off guard that instead of setting the snowman down, he threw it over his shoulder, right onto my back and head!! I wasn't hurt, but it had us laughing for a long time afterwards. I'll be posting pictures later on this week.

An Impending Arrival

In 33 days, give or take a few, how many I can't say, let's questimate between April 5th and April 19th, our black and white cat Tula, (named for the greek star Tula on "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" as our male cat is named Hercules) will become a mother of 1-6 new baby kittens. The father(s)...1)an orange tabby who was rather annoying trying to get in my house and decided to spray around my front door 2.) a black and white fluffy cat we named Tom 3.) a grey cat 4.) a grey and white fluffy cat with a jacked up eye. All 4 of which made our yard their home for about a week. We'd come home from an outing and find Tula "Playing" with one of these four tom-cats. To which the girls replied "Mommy, Tula's boyfriend is here again!" We'd try to break up the "playing" but they would just take off running down the street. Hence, we were doomed to be the guardians of a litter of kittens. She's getting fatter by the day and now when she walks her tummy sways too. She's becoming more and more tired, sleeping most of the day (more so for her at least) and extra lovey dovey with me. I'm excited to see what these babies will look like and have set up a nursery of sorts in the baby's room. A box taped up with a square hole cut into it about 2 inches above the ground so the babies can't escape until their eyes and ears open. Zach's only thoughts "You have to find homes for ALL of them, you can't keep ANY" Well...their goes my chances of being the cat lady. :)

A First

Well, this is a first for us. We have a photo website, but if you know me, I take a thousand pictures and it's time consuming to look through them all. My friend Samantha told me I should start a blog, she came over, helped me out and BAM I have a new blog! So I'll post pictures on here (Only a couple at a time and only the best) and instead of sending out emails all the time, you can just check on here and see what we've been up to. Which knowing me and our family, I'll be posting often and possibly, very likely, some interesting tales to be told. Enjoy and much love to everyone!